


Out of My Head

by lordofthepringles



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 07:46:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/733153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordofthepringles/pseuds/lordofthepringles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is back, the Gleeks attend Jock Parties now, and Dave and Kurt have to endure each other at every one. The truth comes out one night, and Kurt and Dave embark on a purely physical relationship. Top! Kurt Bottom! Dave, Dub!Con (Set in high school and the future).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dave walked into yet another high school party. Truth be told he was sort of tired of them. He was expected to show up after every game and pretend to care about the hot girls at the party, and drinking, and doing stupid shit with his "friends."

He used the word friends very loosely. In fact the only real friend he had was Azimio, and even then sometimes he wondered why he was still friends with such a homophobic asshole.

The only thing that made these parties worthwhile was the fact that the Gleeks showed up and they were easy targets. Especially that Barry girl. Man she was a drama queen and getting her going was easily the most entertaining thing of his week.

That and seeing Kurt Hummel. Good Lord that kid knew how to push all his buttons. He was flaming and proud and fucking annoying as all hell.

Like seriously annoying. He'd show up to the parties acting all holier than thou as if his lack of drinking somehow made him better than Dave and the rest of the jocks. He spent the majority of his time making snide remarks at him and the football team and acting like a little bitch.

If Finn and half the team weren't on the damn football team and in that gay glee club, and if they weren't in Finn and Kurt's fucking basement, he'd have taught Kurt a lesson in manners.

Tonight was no different. Azimio was in the corner making out with some random cheerleaders, a few of which were from the opposing team. Finn and Rachel were having some sort of argument, Quinn and Lauren were yelling at Puck, Mike and Sam were comparing abs, and Brittany, Santana, and Artie were playing some spin the cripple.

And there Kurt was eyeing him from one of the barstools. Sitting prim and proper with one leg over the other. As if he were at some fucking fancy dinner or something.

Kurt lifted his chin slightly, brushed his hair back and spun around to talk to Mercedes who was pouring herself a drink.

God he fucking hated these parties. Kurt was clearly in one of his "I'm superior to you in every way" moods and it seemed to be one of those let's all hook up and make out parties.

Dave grabbed a beer and sat down on the couch and started playing some guitar hero. He could at least unwind by doing that.

"So, I'm surprised you even came tonight, Karofsky."

Kurt's voice behind him surprised him enough to make him mess up the song.

"Damnit, Hummel. Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me like that."

"Well at least when I sneak up on you, I don't push you into lockers and steal your first kiss."

Dave looked around terrified that someone could've possibly heard Kurt.

He lowered his voice,

"Fuck, Hummel. You trying to out me?"

"Believe me, ham hock, they are far too busy drinking and making out with each other to notice."

"Still, keep that shit to yourself."

"And if I don't, what are you going to do? Kill me?"

"Jesus Fucking Christ, Hummel. You are a piece of work you know that?"

"I'm the piece of work? I'm not the one who threatened you with physical violence."

"No, but you do threaten to out me every time I come to one of these damn parties."

"Well maybe you should take the hint and stop coming to them."

"And if I don't go the parties, people will suspect something and find out anyways. I may be slow, Kurt, but I'm not stupid. I know what you're doing. You're trying to ruin my life and make me miserable just like I made you. Guess what, I already am miserable. So you want to ruin my life, do it? I'm tired of you constantly threatening me. Do it or shut the fuck up about it. I apologized to you and I meant it, but it's not my damn fault if you won't accept it."

Dave's voice had risen considerably by that point and everyone stopped and watched Dave and Kurt argue.

Finn finally stepped in,

"What the hell Karofsky? Kurt is he hurting you?"

Dave laughed bitterly,

"I haven't laid a hand on Kurt since before he transferred to Dalton. Maybe you should just keep your brother the fuck away from me during these parties, Hudson. I'm tired and I really don't feel the need to put up with this shit tonight. I'm out."

Dave picked up his letterman jacket, downed the rest of his beer and headed toward the stairs.

He had just reached the top when he felt a much smaller body push against the wall.

"Fuck you, Karofsky. You don't get to be mad at me. You tortured me for years!"

Dave just stood there and took it. He knew eventually Kurt would snap and he did deserve it.

Kurt pummeled his chest with his fists,

"I can't stand you, you know that? You always come to these parties and people pretend like you're the greatest thing known to man because you can hit people on the football field and because you're an athlete. You're a shitty human being and I lay awake at night and pray that you die. You know that? I do. I want a fucking bus to run you over. In fact I daydream about it a lot."

Each word was like a knife wound in his heart. Kurt was slicing and filleting it up and he felt raw and exposed. In fact he felt like crying. But he would never give Kurt the satisfaction of knowing what his words did to him.

He had already lost twenty pounds because of what Kurt had said to him in the locker room before he transferred away.

Kurt finally quit hitting him.

"Aren't you going to fight back?"

"No. You're absolutely right and I do deserve your hatred."

Kurt took a step backward; his eyes widened with shock and horror and almost took a step right off the first step. Dave stepped forward and grabbed before he fell backwards down the stairs.

"Let me go, Karofsky."

Karofsky put him on his feet and slipped into his coat.

"I really am sorry, Kurt. I hope one day you understand that and can forgive me."

He slipped out the door and ran home. He felt the tears flowing as he thought about what Kurt had said. He almost did want to throw himself in front of a bus. He almost did want to die. He found himself at home then.

His parents were watching a movie, and he flickered the lights to let them know he was home safe.

He stopped to grab a banana and some Gatorade.

He was still so fucking tense and worked up over what had happened, so he went to his room. He grabbed a few of his weights, pumped the Zeppelin, and started lifting.

After about twenty minutes of exercise he stopped. He was sweaty and tired and he was ready to sleep even if it was only eleven p.m. on a Friday night.

He grabbed his shower stuff and walked into his bathroom.

Afterwards he pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and checked his body out. He had definitely lost a good deal of weight, and he was toned. He had six packs and he was hard and firm, but he still felt overweight, chubby, and fat. He was always going to be a large man. He was over six feet tall, he had large bones, and he was stocky. No amount of dieting was going to change his build.

He was just getting ready to go to bed when he heard his bedroom window open.

He spun around and saw Kurt Hummel climbing through his window.


	2. Chapter 2

Dave felt exposed, bare, and extremely uncomfortable. He grabbed a pillow and covered himself.

"What the fuck, Hummel?"

"It's not like you don't have anything I haven't seen before, Karofsky."

"That's not the point! Why are you in my fucking bedroom? How did you even know where I live?"  
"We've known each other since fourth grade, Karofsky. It's not exactly a secret."

"What do you want? I was about to go to bed."

"I thought about what you said. And you're right. You did apologize to me and I haven't accepted it."

"You seriously broke into my house to tell me that?"

"Well, I felt like I should tell you why."  
"It's not rocket science, Kurt. You hate me. So you haven't forgiven me."

"Not exactly. You're right, though. I did hate you."  
"Once again, thanks for the statement of the obvious."

"God, Karofsky. Shut up, will you?"

"You break into my house to tell me that you hate me, and now you're ordering me around?"  
"Do you want to hear this explanation or not?"  
Dave walked to his dresser and pulled on a shirt and some sweat pants.

"Fine, talk."  
"So you know that when I said I daydream about you dying, I totally meant it, but that is usually after I daydream about you in general. You just won't get out of my fucking head. Ever since that damn fucking kiss. It's all I can think about, and even when my boyfriend, who is gorgeous and sweet and talented and PERFECT kisses me, I can't help but compare it to your kiss, because it was my fucking first, and it ruins it. Cause then all I can think about is you, when I should be thinking about the man I'm in love with. So yeah, I daydream about you dying, because you won't fucking leave me alone. So you still torture me every damn day and all I want is for it to stop. SO get the hell out of my head, you Neanderthal, and maybe I'll forgive you."

Dave sat there in shock watching Kurt spaz out. He was shocked, and incredibly turned out. The complete opposite reaction of what he should be feeling.

"Kurt, I'm sorry, okay? I am sorry that I stole your first kiss. I'm sorry that I fucked up your perfect life, okay? I can't do anything but apologize. If I could take it back I would, okay? Do you want me to say that I would erase that day if I could? Because I will. I would take it back in a heartbeat. But then you'd still be at McKinely enduring physical torture from the guys on the team and from me, and you wouldn't have Blaine. So really, what do you want from me?"

Kurt finally stopped pacing and sat on the edge of Dave's bed.

"What I want is for you to stop haunting my dreams, and for me to be able to completely be with Blaine and not have you constantly niggling at the back of my mind."

"You know what, fine. I'll stop going to the parties if it helps okay? I will do everything in my damn power to never see you again, because I don't want to cause you any more pain, Kurt. I truly meant it when I said I was sorry. SO if that is what it takes for you to forgive me, I'll do it."

Kurt looked at Dave for the first time. He stared at him.

"What now?"

"I actually believe you when you say that."

"And?"

"And I can't believe I'm going to say that, but what I think I really need is to just get you out of my system."  
"What the fuck does that mean?"

"I think we should have sex."  
"What now?"

"I don't think I will ever get you out of my mind unless we do."  
"I think that is a terrible idea, Kurt. "

"Why?"

"Because you aren't in love with me, and I do not want to take another one of your firsts."  
"Well, first of all, what the hell does love have to do with it? Secondly, you wouldn't be."

"Jesus Christ, Hummel. I don't want to help you cheat on Blaine or anyone else for that matter. I'm not just some gay guy you can use for sex."

"Are you telling me you don't want me?"

"That is not at all relevant to this conversation."  
"What if I said that is the only way I'd forgive you?"

"I'd say you were a jackass resorting to sexual harassment."

"And you torturing me wasn't?"

"Seriously, Kurt? This is the only way you'll forgive me, is by having sex with me?"  
"Maybe."

"No, Kurt. If and I do mean if I were to have sex with you, I'd need a guarantee that you would stop treating me like a pariah and that you would forgive me once and for all."

"Fine. If we had sex, I'd forgive you."

They sat on the bed staring at each other for a few seconds before Kurt was attacking Dave and pushing him back on the bed.

He soon felt a pair of lips on his own.

He could taste the alcohol on Kurt's breath.

"No, Kurt. "

He pushed Kurt off and slid as far away from him as possible.

"What the fuck, ham hock?"

Kurt looked furious.

"You've been drinking. It's clear you aren't completely in control of your actions, and I refuse to take advantage of you."

"Why the hell not? I'm the one trying to take advantage of you."

"The problem, fancy, is that I'm completely sober and even if you do con me into having sex, I can still say yes or no. But, if I take advantage of you while, you're drunk, you can cry rape and have me arrested. So, I'm gonna pass."

"Awe, look who suddenly grew a brain!"

"Just because I may be slower than everyone, doesn't make me stupid."

"You have the guy of your dreams throwing himself at you practically begging you to fuck him, and you suddenly grow a conscious and brain."

"Come on, Fancy. You're wasted. I'm gonna take you home."

"NO! I don't want to go back there."  
"Why not?"

"Because I'm tired of being around them. They think they know me and what I want or what I should want, and they have no fucking idea. I'm tired of everyone telling me what's good for me. Maybe I just want to do things to see what will happen."

"And I'm one of those things?"  
"Have you not been listening for the last ten minutes? Yes, Dave. You are one of the things I want to try."

"Why?"

"Because, I know Blaine is perfect, and safe, and I should be with him, but he's not the one I think about when I jerk off, and not the one I think about when he kisses me."

Dave stared at him in shock,

"So, you're saying that you…"

"Yes, God. You are the one I fantasize about, okay? And maybe if we just fuck , I can get over it and actually give Blaine what he deserves."

"What makes you think one time will be enough?"

"Because I have no expectations."

"Hell, no, Hummel."

"Come on stop playing hard to get, it's not attractive on you."

"No, Fancy. I am not going to be your first. You already accused me of stealing your first kiss, and I feel guilty enough about that already. I will NOT be your first time. You really want me to fall for that and have you hold that over my head the rest of our lives? NO."

"But, I'm asking you to be my first. So you wouldn't be stealing it, and I clearly don't mind kissing you, if I'm asking for this."

"Right, for how long? Until we have sex, and then you regret it and decide you're going to hate me again?"

"Damnit, Karofsky. I don't hate you. I hate that I even WANT to have sex with you. NOT YOU."

"What is so bad about wanting to have sex with me?"

"The fact that you bullied me for years? Or the fact that I have a boyfriend who does nothing for me, but the guy who treated me like shit, does?"

"So, I am your type, then?"

"Of course you're my type. Why else would I even be here?"

"So, if we do this, you can't bring up the kiss or the bullying, or any of that shit again, are we clear? You forget about it, and go back to that Whorebler kid, and leave me alone. Okay?"

"What if I don't want to leave you alone?"

"You really want to start something you can't finish, Fancy?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"I'm telling you to think about your boyfriend. How would he feel if he knew you constantly provoked me because you couldn't stop thinking about me? "

"Fine. Can we get on with the sex please? I don't want Finn to find out I'm gone."


	3. Chapter 3

Dave backed up and sat on his bed, and put his head in his hands.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready for this."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I can barely even admit to myself that I like guys, and you want me to fuck you."

"I in no way want you to fuck me. I want to fuck you, just so I can get it out of my system."

"Right. So you want to take my first time so you can get it out of your system, because I took your first kiss?"

"Oh, would you feel better if we just cuddled tonight?"

"Fuck you, Fancy."

"That's what I'm trying to do, Hamhock."

Dave sighed and stood up.

"I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I'll be any good."

"Really? You're telling me you haven't any sex at all, ever? Not even in a misguided attempt to prove you're straight?"

"I made out with Santana once just so she could prove I couldn't, and a few times with Brittany, but no I haven't any sex, ever."

Kurt stared at him in shock, and then smiled.

"Well you have to lose it sometime, why not with the guy you're in love with?"

"Who says I'm in love with you?"

"The fact that you kissed me, and because you stare at me every day when you think I don't notice."

"Okay, so I may be attracted to you, but I really don't like you right now."

"What's not to like? I'm hot and gay."

"Maybe because you're basically coercing me into having sex with you."

"I cannot believe you're such a prude."

"I'm not a fucking prude."

Dave was getting angry.

"Really? Am I offending your finer sensibilities? Don't tell me, you need romance and candle light before you'll give your v card up?"

"Why are you being so mean?"

"Because I'm fucking tired of this. You sit there every day and fucking pine after me, and then when I finally give you what you want, you act like a middle age spinster."

"Quit comparing me to a girl, Hummel."

"Then quit acting like one and get your clothes off."

Dave stood there for a few seconds and mulled things over in his mind.

He didn't see any hope with either situation. And with one, he could at least say he got laid.

"Fine. You can never tell anyone about this though."

"You think I'd want to tell people about this?"

"Just make sure you don't."

Kurt just rolled his eyes,

"Okay, I promise. Now are you done talking about your feelings?"

"Quit being mean to Kurt. I could easily say no."

"Oh my God, you're such a baby."

Dave stood there with his arms crossed.  
"Fine, what the fuck ever, Dave. I'll be nice to you, and I promise I'll even cuddle with you afterwards if that's what it takes to get your pants off."

Dave stops talking then and pulls his sweatpants off. If Kurt wanted to see him naked, then that's what he'd be.

His shirt comes off next and he's left standing in his boxers.

Then he's reaching down to remove his boxers, when Kurt is beside him.

"Let me, Dave."

"You want to undress me?"

"I told you I wanted to have sex with you, and that means everything."

Dave stands there and feels fingers on his hips. He tries not to shiver at the feeling.

Then Kurt is on his knees and removing the boxers.

Dave is painfully hard and would be embarrassed if Kurt hadn't just spent the better part of an hour trying to convince Dave he wanted this.

Then Kurt's fingers were around his cock and he bucked into them.

"Fuck, Fancy."

"You like that?"

"Yeah, that's good."

Kurt stared up at Dave who stared back.

Then Kurt smiled salaciously at him and reached his tongue out to lap at his cock.

"Holy Shit." Dave nearly came right then and there. So no one had ever done that to him before, and he wasn't expecting the feeling of finally having a hot, warm mouth on him.

Dave knows that Kurt has told him he's his first, but holy shit the feelings he was having at that moment did not match a novice. Good God, he was fucking brilliant.

"Are you sure I'm your first, Kurt?"

Kurt chuckled while still sucking on Dave and the feeling sent shockwaves through Dave. He was so close.

"Kurt, Jesus, stop. I'm gonna come if you don't."

Kurt pulled off with a lewd pop and grinned up at Dave,

"In answer to your question, yes you will be my first virginity I've taken, but I have given blow jobs before."

Dave just stared at him in shock.

He was past caring at that point, all he wanted was to have sex with Kurt.

Kurt pushed Dave against the bed then and straddled him.

Kurt was unfortunately still partially dressed and Dave just wanted to feel Kurt against him.

Kurt slowly popped the button on his skintight jeans open.

Dave wanted to rip them off him, but knew that Kurt would probably not be okay with that.

Instead, he forced his fingers to stay still as he watched Kurt shimmy out of his clothes.

"Fuck, Kurt. That's so hot."

Kurt just grinned back at him. Dave didn't care that the smile never reached his eyes, because he just wants whatever Kurt wants to give him.

Kurt is finished undressing then and tells Dave to turn over.

Dave flips over and feels Kurt pull his hips up so that his face is pressed into his pillows. He feels awkward and incredibly unsure. Then he feels two cold fingers against his hole.

He gasps in surprise, but relaxes, as Kurt is gentle with his ministrations. He feels one finger penetrate him and his body isn't sure whether to push it out or draw it in. Kurt just powers through though and adds a second finger. The burn is overwhelming and Dave bites his pillow to keep from crying.

He feels the tears welling up and is about ready to pull away, when Kurt crooks his fingers and brushes against something inside him. The feeling went from overwhelming pain to incredible pleasure.

He groans and bites his pillow harder, because he doesn't want his parents to hear.

"Relax, Dave, I'm going to add a third finger."

Dave relaxes his hips, then feels Kurt add a third finger.

The mix of pleasure and pain is unlike anything he's ever felt before and he's not quite sure what to think. Then Kurt removes his fingers and Dave feels empty at the loss.

Then he feels something significantly larger than fingers pressing at his entrance.

Dave bites his pillow harder as he feels Kurt press in.

The slow, shallow thrusts turn into strokes that are more confident and the overwhelming burning and pain is replaced by a feeling of fullness and pleasure.

Dave lets up on the pillow and he tightens his fingers into the sheets on his bed.

Then Kurt moved Dave's hips and thrust in and Dave saw stars. Honest to goodness stars. He wasn't sure what happened, but he moaned and involuntarily thrust back.

"You like that don't you, you slut?"

Dave shuddered as Kurt's words infiltrated his brain,

"You want me to keep fucking you?"

"Yes, please keep fucking me."

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you won't be able to sit for a week."  
Dave groaned again as Kurt rubbed against his prostate again.

Without warning, his orgasm is ripped from him and his cum spills over his sheets.

"Fuck."

Kurt just groans as he feels Dave squeeze down as he comes,

"I'm gonna come, Dave."

Dave barely hears anything through the sex-induced haze he has just entered, but feels Kurt thrust erratically a few more times then empty himself into Dave.

So, Dave had just had sex for the first time with Kurt Hummel, who just came in his ass.

Kurt removed himself rolled over and pulled his clothes back on.

"See you later, Karofsky."

With that, Kurt was out his bedroom window and Dave was left there to figure out what the fuck had just happened.


	4. Chapter 4

Dave spent the better part of the weekend sitting in his room, reliving the events of Friday night.

He wavered from feelings of shame and guilt, to feeling flushed and turned on, because even if Kurt was only using him, it felt good. Kurt wasn't rough or abusive, and actually tried to make Dave more comfortable in the act itself, but he had left immediately afterward.

Dave walked into school on Monday determined to just ignore Kurt, because it was easier than having to constantly wonder what was going in Kurt's mind or trying to psychoanalyze what had led to Dave face down on his bed with Kurt's cock up his ass.

Easier said than done though as Kurt was the first person he saw as he put his books in his locker. Kurt stared at him brazenly then turned on his heel with his head held high in the air and strutted off.

Fuck.

Dave spent all of homeroom watching him and at lunch he couldn't keep his eyes off Kurt as he licked a lollipop while talking to Jones and the Asian Goth girl.

Kurt caught him staring at winked at him before turning his attention back towards his friends.

The rest of the week was torture for Dave, who was pretty sure that Kurt was purposely trying to kill him every time they ran into each other in the halls.

Friday was the football game finally and Dave spent all game taking his aggression out on the other team's defense as he blocked for Finn Hudson.

Dave was extremely nervous right after as he showered and got ready to dress. Z and Hudson had told him he was going to the after party no matter what, because they demanded a rematch in Grand Theft Auto.

He had tried to complain about a migraine, but Z only pushed some Tylenol in his hands. Then he complained about homework and Finn told him Abrams would do his homework for him.

Dave really had no other excuse and telling them, "Sorry, but I just don't want to see your brother because I lost my virginity to him the last time I went to a party, and I don't want it to be awkward," would go over really well.

The only way he knew he would make it through the party was to start drinking early, and that is exactly what he did.

He was well on his way to being nicely buzzed when he and Z arrived at the party.

Dave walked down the steps and took his seat beside Hudson. Hudson had his tongue shoved down Berry's throat, so he took the time to switch controllers with him while he wasn't looking. Everyone knew the black controller was the only good one, and Dave had figured it out the first time they had thrown an impromptu party at Hudson's house.

Z walked over to Jones who was busy kissing her boyfriend, another fellow football player. Leave it to Z, who was incredibly jealous that Jones had never figured out his insane crush on her, to treat her like an 8th grade boy.

"So, Jones, what's it like dating Bigfoot?"

"Fuck off, Adams. Just because you can't get a girlfriend doesn't mean you should make fun of the men who do have game."

Z pouted and stalked off to join Dave and Finn on the couch. Dave couldn't resist teasing Z.

"You know, maybe you should try being nice to her and Tinsley. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

"Shut the fuck up, Big D."

Finn and Dave just high fived and laughed at Z who told them,

"I'm taking you fuckers down. We'll see who's laughing after this game."

The game lasted all of ten minutes and Dave destroyed both of them.

Finn cursed and tossed the controller at the TV. Unfortunately, Puck was walking by and it hit him in the head.

Which led to Finn and Puck wrestling on the ground.

Dave rolled his eyes and walked over to the bar in the Hudson's basement.

He noticed Kurt and Blaine were conspicuously missing and Dave realized they were probably having sex.

The thought of Kurt with anyone, especially that hobbit, made Dave's stomach turn."

He grabbed another beer and chugged it. If he was going to have to think about horribly disgusting and terrifying things he should at least be drunk.

Then Kurt opens the door to what looks like a storage room and stomps out. A very upset Blaine follows him.

Kurt stomps upstairs and Blaine goes over to Rachel and promptly burst into tears.

Dave has no idea what happened and is torn between playing it cool and going back to video games or checking on Kurt, who no one followed.

Dave knew that Kurt would probably make fun of him, but he thought someone should go see if he was okay.

Dave slowly walks up the stairs and tells Finn he's going to the bathroom.

He gets to the top and sees Kurt pacing in the kitchen.

"You okay, Hummel?"

Kurt looks up at him as Dave has broken his concentration.

"Do I look like I'm okay? No. I'm fucking NOT okay."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What do you want me to say? That I asked Blaine to have sex with me tonight and he told me 'You're not ready for sex. We're not ready for sex, we've only been dating for six months?' Or maybe that I offered to give him a blowjob instead and he told me he wasn't comfortable with doing sexual things like that with me yet? Or maybe I could tell you that when I asked him if he found me attractive and he told me he loved me, but he just couldn't think about him doing anything like that with me?"

"Fuck, Kurt. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well your sorries aren't going to get me laid or get me a boyfriend that actually wants to have sex with me."

Kurt quit pacing and then turned to stare at Dave.

"What is that look for, Fancy?"

"I just realized that you could help me."

"How? You want me to beat him for you or something? I'm over that, Hummel."

"No. I want you to fuck me."

Dave sighed at rubbed his hand over his face,

"NO, Kurt."

"Come on. It's clear that Blaine doesn't want me and I just want to feel wanted and needed and I know you like having sex with me."

"Just because I liked having sex with you, doesn't mean I'm going to just drop my pants and service you whenever you have a fight with your fucking boyfriend, Hummel."

"So, I guess then it would be okay for me to tell Blaine that I cheated on him with you and that you came screaming my name?"

Dave stared at Kurt in shock.

"You would really out me because I don't want to have sex with you?"

"I never said I would, I just asked a question."

"You're an asshole."

Kurt shrugged and removed his shirt and threw it at Dave.

"I'm going to my room, Dave and I'm going to be jerking off to the memory of last Friday night. If you'd like to join me for a repeat performance, feel free to. Or don't and live in fear of what I might or might no do."

Dave held Kurt's shirt in his hands as he watched him walk out of the kitchen and down the hall.

Dave knew he shouldn't give in, but he wasn't ready to come out and he did like the sight of a shirtless Kurt.

So he followed him.

As he walked in the room he had seen Kurt go into he realized for the first time he was in Kurt Hummel's room. He was about to get fucked in Kurt Hummel's room and that thought alone got him hard.

True to his word Kurt was already naked, with his hand working on his cock.

"Glad to see you aren't quite as stupid as you look, hamhock."

Dave just stared as Kurt stroked himself.

"You gonna get over here and provide a hand or make me do all the work while you watch?"

Dave moved then and was on the bed beside Kurt.

"You might want to take your clothes off first, genius."

"Oh, sorry."

Dave stood up and removed his jeans and boxers that rubbed over his aching cock. Then his shirt was off and he was naked.

Kurt stared up at him and Dave felt like he was on display. He knew Kurt didn't really find him attractive or even like him, but this was sex and he figured he owed it to Kurt, who was clearly dealing with issues of his own. Dave still felt horrible that he was the major cause of them and he resolved to make things right, and if it meant letting Kurt fuck him, and then he'd let him do it.

Dave got on the bed and put his hand over Kurt's cock. He made a fist and let Kurt fuck into it.

"Yeah, just like that."

"What else do you want me to do?"

"Have you ever sucked cock?"

"No."

"Well here's your first chance."

Kurt pulled Dave's head down to his groin.

Dave was extremely nervous. He felt like if he crossed this line it would be admitting he was gay and as much as he really wanted to suck Kurt off, he wasn't sure he was ready for all this.

Then Kurt was running a soft hand through Dave's hair.

"It's okay, Dave. I'll talk you through it."

Kurt sounded so affectionate and tender that Dave decided he was going to do it.

So he bent his head some more and reached his tongue out.

HE had seen enough porn to know what was expected of him and as he slipped his mouth over the tip of Kurt's cock and used to tongue to swirl around it, Kurt tightened his hand in his hair and groaned.

"Oh God. Fuck, Dave."

Dave took that a sign of encouragement and continued to lave at Kurt's cock with his tongue.

Finally Kurt pulled him off with a lewd pop.

"You are a natural at that. Wow."

Kurt was grinning at him and then he was pulling Dave up.

"Turn over, Dave."

Dave knew what was coming next and did as he was told.

Kurt grabbed a pillow and placed it under him and then pulled his ass up to him.

This time Kurt parted Dave's ass cheeks and ran his tongue over Dave's hole.

He fucking lost it. He was not expecting that and it was intense and weird and Dave shuddered.

"That feel good?"

"Unghh."

Dave could not form anything coherent as Kurt was slowly working his tongue into his hole.

"Ohhh."

"You gotta keep it down, hamhock. No one can know what's going on."

Dave lowered his head and bit the pillow in front of him.

He moaned as Kurt removed his tongue and added fingers and before Dave realized it Kurt was pushing in against him.

It felt much like the first time, but this time tingles of pleasure were already to starting to creep up Dave's legs and back.

Then Kurt angled him perfectly and thrust in and managed to hit Dave's prostate dead on.

Dave pressed his palms flat down on the bed and screamed into the pillow. Kurt was moving fast and hard and the pace was brutal. Each thrust sent Kurt's cock directly on Dave's prostate and Dave was close to blacking out from the intense pleasure.

"You…. You…"

"What, Dave?"

"SO good, I can't…"

"Can't what?"

"Come."

With that Dave was coming harder than he had ever come in his life and he floated away to some other realm of consciousness.

When he came back down Kurt was still thrusting and Dave was oversensitive and kept drifting in and out of coherent thought with each brush of his prostate.

Then Kurt thrust erratically a few times and was coming hard.

Kurt pulled out and lay on his back.

Dave couldn't move, didn't want to move. He could feel Kurt's come starting to seep out of him and he reached for the box of tissues by the bed to clean himself off, when Kurt leaned over him.

Dave wasn't sure what Kurt was doing, then Kurt's tongue was in his ass again and this time he sucking his own cum out.

Holy fucking Lord. Dave gasped and thrust into the bed. He was hard again. How was he hard again?

He groaned and grasped the sheets and Kurt continued to clean him out with his tongue.

Then Kurt turned him over.

Dave's ass was sore from the brutal pounding it had just taken, but he found himself not caring as Kurt looked down and noticed Dave's throbbing cock.

"You really do have a thing for having your ass licked don't you?"

"Apparently."

Kurt bent his head down and took Dave's cock in his mouth. Dave didn't last long as the view of Kurt between his legs and the wet, hot suction a round his cock proved too much. He came with a low groan as he spilled over Kurt's tongue. His hand tightened slightly as he held himself in Kurt's mouth until he was spent.

Kurt wiped his mouth, smiled at Dave, and said,

"Well thanks for that. I do feel much better. I trust you can see yourself out."

With that Kurt was redressing, fixing his hair, popping a few minutes in his mouth and walking out.

Dave was still in shock after having mind blowing, intense sex. He lay there for a few minutes, then got up and dressed.

He walked home sticky and sore, and as he cleaned himself in the shower he felt his hole still raw and gaping from the pounding Kurt had given him.

He went to bed that night hard again thinking about what had happened yet again, and he jerked himself off to the memory of Kurt felching (as he had discovered at googling it) him.

He got a text later that night from Z,

Where the hell did you disappear to? We were waiting for you to come back to finish the game.

Sorry, dude, I ran into Hummel and he pissed me off, so I went home. Didn't want to start a fight.

Don't mention it. Just glad to know you're okay.

Yeah I just came home and finished homework. I'll see you at practice tomorrow.

Dave went to bed thinking fighting with Kurt was actually simpler than whatever the hell they had going on right now.

The rest of the football season came and went and every Friday night Kurt would take Dave to his room and fuck him into his mattress, usually started by Blaine and Kurt having a fight over something stupid or because Kurt was horny and Blaine was being boring. Dave let him because it meant he got regular sex and the more they had sex, the more Dave realized he was falling for Kurt.

He couldn't explain it and he knew it made no sense to fall for someone who hated you and was only using you for sex, but the truth remained that he felt almost safe when Kurt was inside him, over him, around him.

Hockey was starting soon and Dave knew that there would be no more jock parties because Finn and Puck were in basketball, he was in hockey, and Z was in wrestling.

The second week in December the state playoffs were over, McKinley had made it all the way to the regional finals before losing to Lima Central Catholic.

That Friday was the last official jock party for the season and Dave and Kurt had just finished their latest round of sex when Dave pulled something out of his jacket.

He thrust the package at Kurt as they both dressed.

"I got this for you a few days ago, and since is the last party, I thought I should give it to you now. Consider it a Christmas present or something."

Kurt arched an eyebrow but took the package. He opened it.

Dave had spent hours scouring the malls in Columbus looking for the perfect gift for Kurt.

Kurt held up a black and white Marc Jacobs scarf.

"You got me a scarf?"

"Yeah, Finn told me how much you like them and I was hoping we could it use it as a truce maybe."

"A fucking scarf, Karofsky, really?"

"I just thought…"

"Really, you had a thought, I wasn't ware Neanderthals could think."

"What?"

Dave was confused, it had been weeks since Kurt last insulted him and he had no idea where this was coming from.

"Dave, are you seriously that stupid?"

"What do you mean?"

"You really think a last season Marc Jacob's scarf, which I already own by the way, is going to make up for everything you did?"

"No. I was just hoping it could be a start."

"Get this through your head, Karofsky. We are not friends; we are never going to be friends. That's not saying I don't like having sex with you, because I do, and I think we should continue this, but giving me presents isn't going to change my mind. I love Blaine."

"You love Blaine, yet continue to sleep with me?"

"I'm just waiting for Blaine and you're a nice distraction."

"So, let me get this straight, you blackmail me into sleeping with you, because you're waiting for your boyfriend to realize he wants to sleep with you?"

"No. I'm allowing you to get laid and being satisfied in the process."

"You really are something else, Kurt."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, wow, you're actually justifying your behavior by throwing my past in my face. Okay, I get it. You can't forgive me for what happened in the past, and you want to hurt me as much as I Hurt you. Well congratulations, Kurt. You just did. Because that gift was because I actually do like you and while I know it's stupid of me, I was falling for you, and I just wanted to do something nice. "

Kurt just stared at him with stoic silence,

"Anyway, I'm done with whatever this is. It's not healthy for either of us and you have Blaine, who, while clearly insane for not wanting to have sex with you, is still your boyfriend, and I'm done helping you cheat on him. Keep the scarf, burn it, use it to wipe your ass, whatever. I know that you're going to hate me for the rest of your life and I understand it. I wish things could be different, but I also know it's my own damn fault and I am sorry, Kurt. For everything. For making you feel unsafe, for stealing your first kiss, for torturing and terrorizing you, and mostly for being too scared to admit I was gay and dancing with you at our junior prom. I did want to, but I was just wasn't ready. I gotta go."

Dave put his coat on and started to walk out of Kurt's room.

"Karofsky, wait."

Dave's heart caught in his throat.

"Yes?"

"You're really willing to allow me to out you?"

"I wish you wouldn't Kurt, but if that's what it gets for you to move on from the last two years of high school, then do it. "

Dave was done caring at that point. He was walking away from Kurt and letting Kurt do whatever he wanted and if Kurt decided outing Dave and ruining his life was the only way to move on, then Dave would have to live with the consequences.

Dave went home and waited all weekend to hear from Z or Finn, considering that would be whom Kurt told first. That phone call never came.


	5. Chapter 5

On Monday, Dave was sitting in Calculus going over a formula when the bell rang signaling it was time for English class. He hated the class. For starters, the teacher, Miss Brown always insisted they journal about their feelings. The majority of Dave's feelings were about the situation with Kurt and he sure as hell wasn't going to be putting those thoughts to paper. Especially not a paper that Miss Brown read. So instead, he talked about sports and stupid, superficial things and he always got feedback that said,

I know you can do better than this, David. Please show a little more depth of character when writing."

He could show her depth of character alright, but he was sure if he showed it, it would require a trip to the principal's office, a meeting with his parents and a possible mandatory trip to a therapist.

He trudged to the class and slid into a seat in the back. He always sat the farthest he could get to the back because he liked feeling like if he was back there he was invisible. No one knew or cared that he was there and he was left alone.

This day however, Kurt entered the classroom looked around and spotted Dave. Instead of sitting in the front with his friends, he made a beeline straight for him and sat beside him.

"So, David, how was your weekend?"

Dave slouched down in his seat farther, "Like you don't fucking know, Hummel."

"Hummel? Hmm, I'm disappointed, David. Here I thought we had reached a turning point in our relationship."

"We did. I told you to fuck off, what part of that didn't you get on Friday night?"

"Tsk, Tsk, so hostile and angry, David. What are we going to do with you?"

"What the fuck do you want, Kurt? Why are you sitting beside me?"

"Why do you think?"

"I have no idea why you do anything that you do, Kurt."

"Oh, well, let me explain it to you in terms you'll understand. No one walks away from me and tries to make me feel guilty. Especially not you."

"So this is part of the outing me thing you told me you were going to do this weekend?"

"Well, I found the idea of outing you on the weekend sort of drab. I mean, I think it would be much more effective if I say outed you at school in front of everyone and that way instead of just hearing rumors they see it firsthand. And if you say hit me instead, then you'd be expelled permanently, and you'd be out of my life forever."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this."

Kurt leaned over, brushed a hand over David's cheek, and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Dave leapt back and looked around. Thankfully, people were still busy talking and no one had noticed.

"What the fuck, Kurt? Seriously?"

"Seriously what?"

"You torture me for an entire weekend and then decide to out me in front of all my friends halfway through my senior year?"

"Maybe."

"What about Blaine?"

"What about him?"

"Aren't you two dating? Wouldn't outing me by publically humiliating me sort of put a damper on that relationship?"

"Blaine is boring; maybe I'm ready for a change."

"What the hell kind of change is that? Getting rid of a relationship to out the gay you hate? Where does that leave you? Alone."

"Like I'd stay single for long, David. In fact, I think the biggest loser here would be you. People would finally know what a hypocritical asshole you really are, and you'd get to face the humiliating and degrading experience that you put me through last year."

"I apologized to you for that many times, Kurt. I stopped doing it; I fucking went to therapy for Christ's sake. What more can I do? I may have harassed you, bullied you, and scared you, Kurt. But we both know why I did that. I was terrified of who I was, of what I was feeling for another guy, when all my life I had been taught that feelings like that were wrong. I'm trying to learn to accept myself and get the courage to come out, but you aren't willing to let me do that are you? You are so hell bent on ruining my life for something I did out of fear. What are you doing this out of, Kurt? Anger? Hatred? You want to ruin my life? It's already ruined, Kurt. You made sure of that when you persuaded me to have sex with you. Now I'm going to have sex and always compare it with you and the utter humiliation that you put me through. Go ahead and out me, Kurt, it's not like it's going to make a difference. I mean I'm going to have to come out eventually and either way people will accept me or hate me."

Class began then and Dave tapped his pen nervously until his teacher asked him if he was alright.

"Actually, I'm not feeling all that well, do you mind if I got to the nurses office?"

Dave was excused and he made his way down to the office. He just needed to get away from Kurt and the terror he felt whenever he was near.

He lay on the cot for the rest of the period trying to get his stomach to unknot. They had a hockey game later that evening and he wasn't going home and missing the game no matter what.

An hour later, he was feeling better, and he was sitting at lunch with the rest of the hockey club talking about how they were going to destroy Napoleon later that evening.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Santana Lopez.

"Hey, we need to talk."

"What about?"

"I think you know what about, David."

"In case you forgot, Lopez, you broke up with me to go out with Brittany. I have nothing to say to you."

Truthfully he was still bitter that Santana had mustered up the courage to come out and go after the girl of her dreams and Dave was still stuck in the same place he had been when they first started dating, attracted to guys, and one in particular, the one guy who would never feel anything for him but disgust and hate, Kurt Hummel.

Santana stared daggers at him though and he finally shrugged,

"Guys I gotta see what is up her butt. I'll see you at practice."

"Still pussywhipped by a fucking dyke I see, Karofsky. Better be careful it might rub off on you and turn you queer."

Cooper one of the douche bag sophomores who thought he ran the school sneered at him.

Kurt grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him up,

"Don't you dare talk about my friends that way, Cooper. Just because she's gay does not mean she's going to turn anyone gay, and who cares anyway?"

"Whatever, Karofsky, save your hostility for the ice, man."

Dave shoved Cooper back into his chair,

"If I ever hear you calling another one of my friends that, you will regret it."

He was still furious when he found Santana sitting on a bench in the courtyard,

"What the fuck, Lopez, its like 12 degrees out here, why did you come out here?"

"Because what I have to say to you shouldn't be done in front of other people."

"What do you mean?"

"Kurt told me and Brittany on Friday night that you and he had been having sex regularly. I think he thought I'd be the perfect person to tell because me being a huge bitch and giant gossip, but he made it fairly obvious that he was going to ruin your life."

"I'm well aware of this, Tana. We had a talk today and he told me all about it."

"Really? So what exactly is he planning?"

"He said something about following me around and flirting with me until I get flustered and kiss him or hit him, either way I ruin my life. I out myself or injure him and get expelled permanently."

"I cannot believe Kurt would do something like that."

"Well so far all he's done is talk about it, but I guess that's part of the psychological torture, making me think he's going to out me, so I sit in terror every day if this is the day my life is over."

They heard loud yelling then coming from just inside the doors.

Dave walked in with Santana behind him to see Azimio and Finn fighting in the hallway, with a distressed Kurt and Rachel looking on.

"What the hell is going on?"

Azimio was holding Finn's jacket in one hand with the other fist raised about to bring it into his face.

"Your boy, Hudson here just tried to tell everyone in the lunch room that you were a homo like his fairy brother over there."

Dave felt panic and terror then. His face drained of color and he felt time start to slow.

"I'm going to kick his ass for insinuating that Big D would ever be gay."

Dave took a step forward and shook his head.

"Just let him go, Z."

"But he tried to tell the whole school you was gay!"

Finn shook his head violently,

"No, I swear Karofsky; I didn't even know anything until lunch. Kurt's the one to tell us…"

Z shook him,

"What did pretty boy tell you about D?"

"Uhh, nothing?"

Finn flinched as he waited for Z to connect with his face again. He already had a black eye from an earlier punch.

"Just drop him, Z. Go back to the lunchroom while I talk to them."

"What the fuck do you have to say to either of them?"

Dave just shrugged and toed the linoleum on the floor with his boot.

"Oh my God, you are gay aren't you? And you told Hummel and Hudson before me? Fuck you. So what are you and Hummel lovers or something now? Is that why you attacked Cooper for calling Lopez a dyke?"

"Yes, Z. I'm gay. You heard it from me. I didn't tell Hudson and Hummel only knew because he was helping me come out, isn't that right, Fancy?"

Kurt nodded without saying a word. He still looked shaken up and upset.

"I can't believe you man. Here I thought we were brothers, friends, and turns out you're nothing but a fucking queer. Thanks for nothing, homo."

Z stalked away and turned around,

"Don't ever come near me again, faggot."

With that, he stormed off and Dave collapsed to the floor with tears starting to form in his eyes. He could feel them in his throat and he tried to clear it.

Santana sat down next to him and held his hand.

Kurt tried to take a step toward Dave, but Santana waved him off,

"He has nothing to say to you, Kurt. Don't you think you've already done enough damage for one lifetime? You got what you wanted. He's humiliated and you have your revenge, walk away."

"But, I need to…"

"Seriously, Kurt, walk away. You just outed him in front of his best friend, who is back in there telling everyone what a fucking queer, faggot, homo he is. You did that and you don't get to pretend like it will be made up for by simply explaining or apologizing. God, you're such a bitch sometimes."

"And you aren't?"

"Thing is fancy, I don't pretend I'm not."

"Whatever."

With that, Kurt turned on his heel and stormed off.

Dave sat there for a few more minutes, and then he heard the bell ring.

He went to his locker and tried to remember all he needed for the next class. He wasn't even in there ten minutes when someone came to the door asking him to go to the office.

The other students just stared at him; some pointed and whispered as he walked down the hall toward the office.

As he walked into Figgin's office, he saw Coach Bieste, Miss Pillsbury, Mr. Schuester, Miss Sylvester, and his parents along with Kurt, and his parents too. Finn, Rachel, and Santana sat outside.

He took a seat beside his father.

"Dave we need to talk to you about what happened this afternoon."

"What's there to talk about?"

"Well, Mr. Karofsky, we were told by Miss Lopez that Mr. Hummel outed you in the cafeteria at lunch today and that he did it because he hated you."

Kurt looked terrified and pissed off.

Dave sighed and said,

"I assure you that my outing was an accident and that no one intentionally meant to out me or upset me. I probably should have been more careful about my private life."

Kurt stared at him in shock, Santana in anger and Finn in confusion.

"But, Karofsky, I was..."

"Finn, it was an accident."

"Okay…"

After everyone settled down and Mr. Figgins allowed the other students to leave, he was left with Miss Pillsbury and his parents.

"David, I just want to let you know that I think you are so brave and that I'm so sorry something like this had to happen, but if you need anything my door is always open. I have some pamphlets that should help you and your family come to terms with this."

Dave took them and laughed under his breath.

So Your Kid is Gay was the pamphlet on the top.

That was one conversation he was not looking forward to having with his parents.

Miss Pillsbury left and he was left alone with his parents,

"Do you hate me now?"

"Why would we ever hate you, Dave? What kind of question is that? No, we do not hate you. We're a little stunned, sure, but we love you."

"You do?"

Dave felt his heart start to crack and he couldn't keep the tears from flowing.

"Of course we love you. You are our son and just because you are gay or straight does not dictate your value or worth to us."

"I thought you guys might disown me."

"Why would you ever think that?"

"I don't know, it's just that I'm not your typical gay guy and I know you want me to find a girlfriend so I can settle down."

Dave's mother moved to hold him closer,

"David, I only wanted you to find a girlfriend, because it's what I thought you wanted. You always seemed so lonely and I thought maybe you just need to find someone to love. If you find that with a boy, that's great too."

"I can't believe you are okay with it."

Paul finally spoke up,

"It may take me a while to get used to it, but like your mother said, we love you no matter what. Just don't expect to be able to have guys over without supervision."

"God, dad. Not all of my guy friends are gay."

"Still, I don't want to take any precautions. We all know what sex can lead to."

"What?"

"Pregnancy, stds, death."

"Pretty sure the kind of sex I'd be having doesn't lead to pregnancy."

"Not the point, David, there will be some rules put in place when you do bring a fellow home, are we clear?"

"Yeah, we're clear, but I'm telling you, you will have nothing to worry about with that as far as I'm concerned, there aren't guys I'd be interested in dating or any that would want to date me."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, Paul. Now, David. We should discuss what you want to do, now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we talked to Miss Pillsbury for a few minutes before you got here and we thought it should be your decision on how you'd like to proceed. Do you want to stay at McKinley and finish out your senior year? Or we can transfer you to a different school, or I could always request to work at home and homeschool you."

"I don't know. I mean, I'd like to finish at McKinley, but I'm not sure how people will react. Can I think on it? I have a game tonight and I don't want to let my teammates down."

"Sure."

Dave finished the day at school self-conscious as he found the word faggot scratched into his locker, and the people staring, pointing, and laughing at him as he walked by.

He figured it would die down and he went to the locker room to get ready for the practice before the big game.

As he went to change, he was told he'd have to do it in the girl's locker room as faggots and queers weren't allowed in the boy's locker room.

Instead, he went into a bathroom stall and changed his clothes. He sat on the toilet and cried, before putting on his pads and uniform.

During skating practice, he kept taking brutal hit after hit because Cooper and company wanted to make the big queer faggot cry.

It was time for the game and Dave got three goals he got a hat trick. He was so excited, the first of his high school career and instead of the crows throwing hats like normal the student section stood up and started chanting,

"FAGGOT, FAGGOT FAGGOT."

His coach benched him for the remainder of the game.

After the game, he waited until the rest of the team left. He went in showered, changed and then began to clean his locker out.

Finn Hudson walked in,

"Good game, Karofsky."

"Thanks, Hudson. What are you doing at a hockey game?"

"Oh, we had a basketball scrimmage earlier and we decided to stay for the game."

"We?"

Kurt stepped in behind Finn,

"Yeah, me too."

"Oh, I get it, so that's why the student section started chanting faggot. Nice touch, Kurt."

"That was me, Dave. I swear."

"Whatever, you got what you wanted. I was outed, humiliated, and now I'm leaving. So you can just leave me alone now."

"You're leaving?"

"Yep. I'm going to be homeschooled the rest of the year."

"But why would you give them satisfaction of leaving?"

"Because I'm not strong like you, Kurt. I can't face the ridicule and torment day after day, especially not when I know it's not just all those assholes out there who think people who are gay are worthless losers, but to also know that the only other outed gay guy in the school hates you too? I'm sorry, but I can't do it. This is the only way I know of finishing out my year with a little dignity intact."

"So where are you going now?"

"I'm going home, Kurt."

"But what about sports?"

"What about them?"

"Sports are your life, how are you going to just give that up? And what about your social life?"

"I'd rather take having an actual life over sports, and my social life? Are you kidding me? What social life? I'm lucky to have Finn and Santana talking to me after what happened today. Honestly, Kurt, I'm not going to stick around to be humiliated every day and made to feel like I'm a worthless loser just because I like having sex with guys."

With that he slung his bag over his shoulder and started walking out,

"I'm sorry, Dave."

"Me too, Kurt, but what's done is done. Can't change the past, and hey at least I found out my parents are cool with me being into guys."

"Finn and Puck are having a party tonight, you want to come and blow off steam?"

"No offense, Kurt, but I'd rather be buried alive. Those parties are what led to this mess in the first place, I can assure you I will never be attending another one."

Kurt just nodded,

"I'll guess I see you around then, Dave."  
"I guess so."

Dave looked back at Kurt one last time and then said,

"Hey, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Even though things ended terribly, I am glad that my first time was with you, so thanks for that. Have a good life, Kurt, that's what I want for you."

"You too, David. Really, I do mean that."

They nodded one last time, both knowing that was their final goodbye.

Dave stepped into the cool winter air as he trudged to his pickup truck.

He had been out of his fucking head when he had said yes to Kurt, but in the end his secret was out there, and the people who truly mattered, his family, didn't care, he had hope that someday in the future he could bring a guy home that his parents would freak out about and insist the door be kept open, but until then he was ready to move on with his life.

Sometimes I feel  
Like I am drunk behind the wheel  
The wheel of possibility  
However it may roll  
Give it a spin  
See if you can somehow factor in  
You know there's always more than one way  
To say exactly what you mean to say

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?  
How could I have ever been so blind?  
I was waiting for an indication  
It was hard to find  
Don't matter what I say only what I do  
I never mean to do bad things to you  
So quiet but I finally woke up  
If you're sad then its time you spoke up too


	6. Chapter 6

December 23rd, 2018

Dave's first Christmas home since he left for college came when he was 24 years old. He was happy, healthy, and had a great job. He loved his life, his apartment in Manhattan, and the success he had come across after being a sports agent in New York City. He had attended NYU, taken classes, and met a great guy named Jeff. He was smart, handsome, and best of all, totally sane, without any emotional baggage. Every so often, he'd email Finn and Santana and he'd be told stories of people in Lima. Finn was careful not to mention Kurt, but every so often, he'd hear news of Kurt being rejected by NYADA, getting a job at Vogue, only to be fired for trying to blackmail a major vendor for sexual favors, and becoming the laughing stock of the fashion world. Truthfully, he sort of felt a sense of comeuppance. But he hadn't thought about Kurt in a long time. Until the moment he laid eyes on him four days before Christmas in a local grocery store. Kurt looked good, really good, despite him having to move home and get a job at his dad's tire shop. Burt had retire from politics and went back to working at his shop. He had told Paul Karofsky, his true love lied in cars, and that was what he'd do until he died. Kurt hadn't noticed him in the grocery store though, and that pissed Dave off. It shouldn't have, but for some reason Dave hated the thought of Kurt not noticing him after all those years.

The next day he drove his car to Burt's shop and asked for an oil change. Kurt came out of the garage to get the keys and that's when spotted Dave for the first time, since Dave had said goodbye to him all those years ago.

"Karofsky?"

"Kurt."

"What are you doing here?"

"I decided it was time to come home."

"How long has it been?"

"Six years."

"Wow, I cannot believe how time has flown by. So what are you up to these days?"

"I'm a sports agent in New York City. I represent quite a few athletes in New York City, as well as in New Jersey, and even some in Philly and Boston."

"Wow, that's great! So you have a fancy office in Manhattan?"

"Yeah, and my loft apartment too."

"That's awesome, David. I'm really glad that you have found success."

"Thanks. And what about you?"

"Well, I tried signing and fashion and neither worked out for me, so I'm helping my dad out at the shop. I've actually enjoyed being able to spend time with my dad and Finn."

"And that's what you want to do with your life?"

"Not necessarily, but it's a good job, and my dad has given me a really good opportunity and I don't want to blow it. Besides, Finn does want to make it his business, and he's better at the mechanic end, and I'm better at bookkeeping and records than he is, so it's a family business."

"Well, if that makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."  
"You don't have to pretend to care, David."  
"What do you mean?"

"I know that what I did to you in high school was awful. I know that I made your life a living hell, and you do not have to be happy for me or even wish me well. I certainly don't deserve it after what I did to you."

"My life is great now, Kurt. I don't like to dwell in the past, but you are right, you did make my life awful. However, I got over it long ago. I refused to let you define how my life turned out and look at me now. I'm stronger for it. So I guess I have you to thank for that."

"Don't thank me, David. I was awful to you and I'm sorry."

"You're actually apologizing to me?"

"Yeah, I realized after quite a few years, what holding on to the bitterness and anger of what you did to me, actually did to me. I refused to forgive you, because I felt like if I forgave you, it would make weak and pathetic, and I was so tired of everyone treating me like I was some sort of emotionally fragile weakling who couldn't take care of himself. I hated Blaine treating me like I was a child and going to my dad about having the sex talk, I hated Finn always making sure I wasn't being picked on, and I hated myself for even needing anyone to fight my battles for me."

"That's so not true, Kurt."

"What's not true?"

"You ever being weak. You were the strongest and most opinionated person I have ever met, even after years of living in New York, which is notorious for having strong willed and obstinate people, you still beat them. I never thought you were weak. In fact it was because you were strong and proud of who you were, when I was struggling, that made me snap and you know that I have regretted that since the first time I pushed you into a locker and when I kissed you in the locker room."

"I know, but I still chose not to forgive you. I chose to carry the anger and bitterness around. I pushed everyone away. My parents, Finn, my best friends, and even Blaine. Granted, it wasn't too hard to push him away after he found out I had been cheating on him for months with you, but I chose to not let go of my anger and hatred and that's what led to my downward spiral. I still blamed you for a lot of it. It wasn't until I was forced to move back to Lima, after the whole sex scandal thing, that I realized, I needed help. So I moved back and got therapy. I made amends with the people in my life I hurt the most, except you."

"Well, in your defense, I was off, making millions of dollars and sleeping with my hot boyfriend."

"More information than I needed to hear, David."

"So is this your attempt to make amends with me?"

"I guess. I mean, I don't know when or if I'll ever see you again, and I wanted to make things right, or as right as I can before you go back to New York City."

"Okay, so you expect me to forgive you and just move on."

"I don't expect anything, David. All I know is that I need to apologize. I am sorry for what I did to you. I took your virginity and I tried to make sex about power and not about pleasure. And no matter what you did to me, you did not deserve that. I mean, my goal wasn't to ruin sex for you, but I feel like I might have done that."

At that Dave burst out laughing. He leaned against his car and tried to catch his breath.

"Really, Kurt? Really? You did not ruin sex for me. If I recall, each time I came and each time we had sex, you made sure I came. If you really wanted to "ruin" it for me, you would have. And no, to set your mind at ease, I have had wonderful, fantastic, mind blowing sex since then and sex is awesome. I don't bottom anymore, because well you know, that part of sex reminds me of being humiliated, but thankfully I can still top."

Kurt blushed beet red and cleared his throat as he focused his attention and hands on the wrench he was holding.

"Oh, so you're embarrassed about talking about sex now? The same guy who had to convince me to let him stick his cock up my ass? I'm stunned at you being embarrassed about sex."

"It's not like that for me anymore."  
"What?"  
"I haven't had sex with anyone in over a year."

"Yeah, okay."

"I'm serious. My therapist thought it would be best for me to go cold turkey. To not have sex with someone until I was in love or truly attracted to them. Turns out I had been using sex as a pain reliever. If I was having sex, it meant someone found me desirable and that bolstered my self-confidence. It didn't do much for my self-esteem or sense of value and worth, since I always felt like a whore afterwards, but anyway, yeah, I'm celibate."

"Kurt Hummel, the guy who seduced me into giving him my virginity is celibate?"

"Yeah, why is that so hard for everyone to believe?"

"Because it's you. The same guy who fucked me three times in one night, because you were horny and I was as you so eloquently put it, the only available ass to stick your cock in."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I also didn't like having sex with feelings involved."

"Clearly. But hey, you taught me how to have sex and enjoy it for what it is, and not always assume there has to be something more, or falling for every guy I sleep with. You really helped me out with that one. A very valuable lesson you taught me there, never fall for the guy you're sleeping with, because you'll only get your heart broken."

Kurt's face dropped at that last statement and Dave felt bad.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. That was a low blow. Plus I lied, I ended dating a guy for five years, and believe me when I tell you, that sex is awesome pretty much all the time, but when you're in love with the person, it's even more unbelievable."

"Well I wouldn't know. I have never had sex with anyone I loved."

"And that's unfortunate, and I hope one day, you do find that guy and that he can show you, what sex is really supposed to be like."

Kurt scoffed,

"Yeah, that's gonna happen in Lima. The only other out gay guy is Blaine, and he's happily married now, and you're off in New York City doing fabulous things and dating hot athletes and models."

"So move to a city, try online dating. You're not gonna find anyone just sitting in Lima feeling sorry for yourself. I mean there has to be something you can do or wanted to try."

"Yeah. I've always wanted to be a writer, but I'm not sure anyone would want to read what I wrote."

"Tell you what, you write a manuscript, and send it to me. I know a lot of publishers through some of my other friends from NYU. I know some agents who work with authors. I'll see what I can do about getting you an appointment with one of the publishing houses."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Well I'd do pretty much anything for my friends, and since we've made peace, I hope that one day we can be friends."

Kurt smiled and dropped his wrench on the bench beside the car he had been working on. He ran at Dave and hugged him tightly. Dave couldn't help but hug him back, and having Kurt in his arms, smelling his cologne and the scent of pineapple shampoo made his pulse race.

Kurt thanked him over and over as he hugged him.

Dave cleared his throat, pushed Kurt back gently and arranged his coat.

"I'm glad you're happy and I can't promise you anything, but I can try."

"Still, Dave. This means so much to me. You have no idea."

Dave just smiled and handed his keys to Kurt.

"You're welcome. I need an oil change, which is the real reason I came in here. Do you know when you can have it done?"

"I should be able to get it completely done by the afternoon of Christmas Eve."

"You don't have to work on Christmas Eve. I'm here until New Year's Day."

"No, really. It's no big deal. We always do our family Christmas the Saturday before Christmas anyway. So my only plan was to eat some Christmas cookies, and watch The Christmas Story on TBS."

"Okay, if you're sure. I'll pick it up then."

"Great. Thanks again, David. It was really good to see you."

"You too, Kurt. Just make sure you write the best manuscript you can and you can send it to this address here when you're done."

Dave handed him his business card with his office address.

Kurt took it and as their hands brushed, Dave felt a spark and his pulse raced again. Damn static electricity.

Dave left the shop then and headed to the skating rink at the local park. He needed to mull over what had just happened with Kurt and he misses hockey and skating. He hadn't done either since high school and it was time to pull his old skates out and feel free and like a kid again flying over the ice.


	7. Chapter 7

It was Christmas Eve, two more days and Dave could go back to Manhattan and go back to work and Jeff. He and Jeff had decided to spend the holidays apart, because Jeff's work had him working on Christmas Eve and Dave had really wanted to see his father.

So, he went to the store and bought food and alcohol and prepared to spend it at home with his dad, and maybe a movie after his dad went to bed. Then his dad told him they'd been invited to the Hummel's for a Christmas Eve party and Dave sighed and gathered up the champagne he had bought and went begrudgingly with his father.

The house was full of people Dave vaguely remembered from Lima, and a few he'd rather forget. He really just wanted to get out of there and go back home, and then he heard him whisper in his ear and offer to go somewhere quieter with him.

They ended up in the backyard on the swing set.

They sat there awkwardly for a few minutes, and then Kurt was handing him something.

It was the manuscript he had offered to have his friend look at.

Kurt blushed and looked at the ground,  
"I know you said to send it to you, but I 've been writing this since senior year and I reread it through three times since yesterday and wrote the ending."

Dave took it from Kurt's outstretched hands and looked through it. It was about four hundred pages long, clearly freshly printed, and it even had a title page. The manuscript simply read, "Better Than it Was." David promised him he'd give it to Oscar when he got back to Manhattan the next day.

"I'd like you to read it, David. Before you pass it off to anyone else."

"I'm not an entertainment agent, Kurt. I only handle athletes."

"I know that, but the story is about you. About us." Kurt looked at the ground again.

Dave scoffed at that, us?

He was confused and intrigued at the same time, and that irritated him. Kurt wasn't allowed to make him feel anything but closure and sometimes hatred.

"I wasn't aware there was an us."

Kurt winced at that, "I didn't mean us now, but in high school."

"I didn't know there was an us then, either. As far as I remember, Kurt, you blackmailed me into letting you fuck me, then treat me like shit, and when I dare have feelings for you and do something nice for you, you laugh in my face and then out me to the whole school. My life was hell after that. I know you don't know about any of that, since you didn't even fucking bother to apologize or talk to me after I had to leave McKinley and finish my year out homeschooled. I was tormented for months after I left McKinley, even when I went to the grocery store for my mom. If someone from the hockey team saw me, they'd start chanting, "faggot" and "cocksucker" at me. I went to fucking college and Rick showed up and plastered homophobic slurs and threats on my dorm room door. He went as far as telling my roommate, that I'd come on to him and try to have sex with him when he was drunk or sleeping. I ended up having to have a single dorm for my first two years of college, because of the rumors. Not one gay guy would talk to me, because they were convinced I was a stalker and crazy."

Dave stopped talking as he realized Kurt was silently crying as he listened to him.

"Stop it, Kurt. I don't want your sympathy and pity after this many years, but just so you know, you treated me like absolute shit and you ruined my life and I worked my ass off to graduate and do something with my life and you don't get to waltz in six years later and pretend like what you did wasn't atrocious and that you don't deserve to feel like shit, because you do."

"I have felt like shit, David. Every day since the day you left. I tried getting in contact with you after you started being homeschooled, but your dad and mom told me to stop, that you were better off and didn't need anything from me. Santana threatened physical harm and even Finn told me that I was an unforgivable asshole for what I did to you. I know that what I did was awful. There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret what I said to you, what I did to you, and how I made you feel. And I know I can't fix it or take it back, but I would like to start over, if possible."

Dave wanted to stamp his feet and say no and throw a temper tantrum, but he couldn't. Even though Kurt had taken his virginity, and had thrown his love back in his face, Kurt still got to him. He wanted to be friends with Kurt, he wanted to know what it felt like to have Kurt smile at him and thank him for doing something nice for him. He wanted to know what it felt like to have Kurt actually like him and not wonder if he was going to flip a switch and become evil.

So Dave sat back down on the swing and sighed.

"So, you wrote a book about us?"

"Yeah, I mean as best as I could. I figure you could give me a few reminders, since you probably remember certain aspects more."

Dave took the book, wished Kurt a pleasant Christmas, and went home.

He stayed up all night and was still up reading when his dad got up to fill his Christmas stocking. He was still up when the sun was peeking over the horizon and was just finishing the manuscript when his dad came back downstairs to make coffee.

The book was from Kurt's point of view. It talked about how much he hurt in high school. How much he hated everything and everyone.

He hated that he lost his mother at a young age, he hated that the first boy to ever like him back made him feel small and worthless. He hated getting a boyfriend who made everything about himself and what he needed, and that Kurt never got what he wanted or needed. He hated the boy who bullied him and made him feel like he wasn't strong enough to stand up for himself. He hated feeling like he was weak and insignificant but what he hated more than anything was that the same boy, allowed Kurt to bully him back, allowed him to take his virginity, allowed him to continue to have sex with him, without saying anything. He knew it hurt him, he got off on the fact that he was hurting the person who in his mind was the villain in his life. He took out all of his hate and anger on the only boy who had ever claimed to love him, who had done something so sweet and romantic, that it hurt to breathe when he thought about it, and in a moment of terror and panic of losing control of his life, he self-destructed and in the process ruined someone else.

He never forgave himself. The book moved through Kurt's life as he went to college and ruined everything good that happened. He ruined his chances with Adam, a sweet young man, who had been the perfect boyfriend, but all Kurt could see was what he had done to Dave. He worried constantly he'd do the same thing to Adam, and refused to ever top in the relationship. Adam got tired of being ignored and his boyfriend being obsessed with an old high school classmate. He had flunked out of school, because he felt like he didn't deserve anything good, and he moved back home and worked at his dad's shop, because he felt like that was all he was good for.

Then he showed back up unexpectedly on a random day in December. The first time he saw him he was wearing grease and overalls, and he never felt more vulnerable. The object of his obsession for so long was standing in front of him and he wanted nothing more than to hug him and apologize for every cruel word and action he had ever done to him. But he could tell that he didn't want that, and that even talking to him was a chore. But by the end of the conversation, he, being the almost saintly guy that he was, was offering to do something so nice for Kurt that he could have wept. Instead he finally hugged Dave for the first time, ever. And he felt like his world tilted and shifted back onto its axis. The book meandered through them becoming friends and eventually had them having drunken sex on New Year's Eve in Manhattan, when Kurt went to visit Dave, and by the end of the book, Dave and Kurt were getting married and were living together and life was good for both of them. They worked through their issues together, and had an incredibly strong friendship and even stronger relationship. Because of it Kurt no longer hated himself. The love that he had received from Dave and the love he learned to feel for himself far outweighed anything he had ever felt before and that love had saved him.

Dave closed the book. His mind and heart were both racing a mile a minute. Is that what Kurt hoped would happen for them, because if so, Kurt was delusional. Dave was in love with Jeff and hoped sometime in the spring, they'd take the next step and get engaged. Did Kurt really think writing this would right the wrongs that he had done to Dave or that it erased the horrible interactions they had in high school?

He sent Kurt an email that he had provided with the manuscript and told him in no uncertain terms did this change anything between them, that they were in the past, and that Kurt's book was not going to happen. He did preface it by saying he like it and that Oscar would get it the first Monday after New Year's and he hoped Kurt did find the happiness and love he wrote about in the book.

He refused to spend his Christmas worrying about Kurt and his issues and spent it with his dad and his dad's new girlfriend. He got a new video game and some cologne from them and he enjoyed a home cooked meal. The rest of the day he spent playing his game and packing intermittently.

At about seven that night, he got a text from Finn Hudson.

Hey, sorry to bother you on Christmas, but have you seen Kurt?

Dave rolled his eyes in irritation. He couldn't even last one whole day without being reminded of Kurt and that damn book he had written.

No. I don't know why you would think that I have.

He left here a few hours ago and was pretty upset. All he told Rachel was that he needed to talk to you.

Well he hasn't shown up here and if he does, I'll send him home.

I know he hurt you a lot, Dave, but can you please just be gentle? He's really upset. He ruined his favorite scarf today, when it got caught in the car door and ripped.

He's fucking upset about a damn scarf? Why is this my problem?

I hate to do this, because it breaks like every brother code, but it was the one you got him for Christmas in high school.

Dave felt all the air in his lungs leave. He sat down heavily on the bed and stared at his phone.

Then he heard a rapping at his bedroom window. He knew who it was and his heart constricted.

He quickly text Finn back,

He just showed up. He'll be home soon.

He turned his phone off and went to open the window.

Kurt stood there and it was clear he had been crying.

"What do you want, Kurt?"

Kurt just started crying as soon as he got into the room and sat on the bed.

Dave hated seeing anyone cry, especially when it was Kurt. He had hated seeing it in high school and now he was hyper aware of it.

"I'm sorry, David. I know you don't want to see me, especially after that email you sent me, but I wanted to clear the air."

"What is there to clear?"

"I know you want nothing to do with me, I'm not stupid or naïve to think you'd ever be in a place again where you'd want to be with me romantically. Rachel felt like the book needed a happy, romantic ending for us, which is why that ending is there. But the book is true. After I went to therapy, my therapist helped me understand what you loving me did for me. It helped me realize that I am not unlovable or as worthless as I was feeling about myself and that it was okay to like myself, even love myself. So, I stopped going after guys I knew were jerks and wouldn't treat me well, and I stopped the self-defeating behavior. It's been awhile, since I moved home, but I feel like I'm ready to start believing in myself again. The only thing I want from you is forgiveness, and permission to have a good life. I feel like I owe you that much."

"I do not want to be held responsible for your happiness, Kurt. You alone are responsible for that. I do forgive you and I want you to be happy, no matter what it is or where you go. So yes, you have my permission, even though you don't need it, to be happy."

Kurt hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, David."

David pushed him away and stood up.

"Finn told me that you were upset for another reason tonight."

"It's true. I saved the scarf you gave me, and after everything that happened, I felt awful. I refused to give it up. I slept with it, used it every day in winter, and it sort of became a security thing for me."

"Well maybe that was a sign that you don't need it anymore and that you can truly move on."

"Yeah, but the scarf symbolized a lot of things for me and I'm really sad that it ripped. Maybe, I'll do something creative with it, like have Carole put it in a quilt or something."

"Trust me, Kurt, you don't need anything like that. You are a strong and I'm proud of you for overcoming your anger and hatred. I'm only sorry that I ever contributed to it."

Kurt had tears in his eyes again as he got up,

"And I'm sorry for taking it out on you, you did not deserve it. I'm sorry for everything I ever said or did to you. I hope that you and Jeff are very happy. Maybe the next time we speak, I too will be happy and with someone who loves me as much as you clearly love him."

Kurt quickly kissed Dave on the cheek and exited his room.

Dave looked out as Kurt walked across the snowy yard and to his car parked on the street.

Dave was so confused. He didn't understand what he was feeling or why he was having conflicting feelings at all. He loved Jeff with his whole heart, and yet, he still felt twinges of something that felt suspiciously like affection and love for Kurt, even after everything that had been through.

He fell asleep with thoughts of high school, Kurt, and Jeff waiting for him at home, racing through his head.

The next morning he decided to go home. His car was done as Kurt said it would be, so he picked it up from Burt and drove it back to his dad's house. He listed it online and put a for sale sign in the window. He didn't need a car now that he was living in New York City, and if he did eventually, well he could get a new car, certainly nicer than the 1999 Alero he had been driving since high school.

His dad gave him a ride to the airport in silence and then he was flying home to his loft apartment. He couldn't wait to surprise Jeff. They could go to their friend Mona's New Year's Eve party like usual, and have their traditional post hangover New Year's Day brunch with their friends.

He quickly got a taxi as soon as he grabbed his luggage and was pulling up to his building within an hour of landing.

It was only eight p.m., so he knew Jeff was either at the gym, or still working on a huge project his firm had started in October. Jeff was amazing. He was a pro bono environmental lawyer, so he often took on big corporations for OSHAA violations and he always had some pet project. This project was taking on two large chemical corporations known for polluting several rivers and lakes in upstate New York, and had taken up a good portion of his time. Dave didn't mind though, because he was often busy nights and weekends talking to clients, going to games, and schmoozing businessmen and corporations who were looking to do endorsement deals with his athletes. Or he was being roped into doing other functions for the senior partner in the firm who often asked him to make appearances at other functions as well like book signings, movie premieres, and exclusive after after parties. Dave loved his life with Jeff, but mostly he loved that Jeff was so passionate about saving the world one fish and tree at a time, and it spilled over into everything he did. He fought, loved, and lived passionately. He turned the key into the lock and slide the door open. He could hear Jeff's favorite music on in the background. Wafts of soul music washed over him. He saw that Jeff had already eaten some Lebanese food from a local restaurant and that his clothing was strewn about on the floor. He picked up the pieces of clothing, fold them while he went. He could hear the shower running and Jeff humming in the bathroom. He walked into the bedroom to deposit the clothing into the hamper and to enjoy a leisurely shower with his boyfriend when he spotted him.

Jeff's assistant, Jeff's very naked assistant sitting in bed with his laptop, plates of half-eaten Lebanese food, condoms and lube on the nightstand, and a bedroom that smelled very much like sex. Dave drew a sharp breath and turned around. He didn't want to deal with this. He was crushed. He saw Michael's look of shock and guilt when he saw Dave and that was enough for him. He didn't know the protocol when dealing with things like this. It was his apartment, but he felt like he was intruding. He went into the living room and sat down on the television in a numb stupor.

The only thoughts running through his mind were, how long, why, and damn this sucks.

He knew Michael was informing Jeff of his surprise visit home, when the shower shut off and heard Jeff cursing. Usually, that cursing was saved for the times he cut himself shaving, or when he was trying to find precedence or information for a case that was hard to crack.

He waited for five minutes, then six, then ten, until Jeff came out of their bedroom, his bedroom, with sweatpants and David's favorite shirt on him.

"Hey baby."

"How long?"

"Come on, David."

"How fucking long, Jeff?"

"Since Halloween."  
"You've been fucking sleeping with your assistant since Halloween?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't think to break up with me first?"

"I didn't think you'd take it well. I mean clearly, you aren't."

"It would have sucked if you had broken up with me then, but this is so much worse. You started sleeping with someone else two months ago, and let me continue to fuck you, with no condoms I might add, and act as if everything was okay. I literally had no clue of this. I thought you were happy, you told me you were. You told me you fucking loved me to the moon and back and that one day you wanted to marry me and that we'd have kids!"

"I know."

"So what? Was everything you said to me these past two months a lie so that you could feel less guilty about having sex with another man in my fucking bed?"

"It is our bed, David."

"Not anymore. As soon as you decided to start sleeping with pretty boy twink in there, you lost the right to call it our anything. In fact, it's not my bed. It's your bed. I don't want to live here anymore. I'm going to find a new apartment. Take the loft. I'm removing myself from the lease effective tomorrow."

"You can't just do that."

"Yeah I can. Remember, this is your apartment. You were the one who invited me to move in with you two years ago. Your name is primary."

"But you just can't leave."

"Why not?"

"David, did you ever think that you might have something to do with me seeking something outside of our relationship."

"Yeah. In fact, the whole time I've been yelling at you, I've been beating myself up inside, for something, whatever it is I did to you, to make you cheat on me and break my heart."

"Well, you weren't giving me what I needed. I told you repeatedly I wanted to top, that I didn't like bottoming all the time."  
"And I let you top."

"Yeah, but you were never into it as much as I was. You just sort of took it. And that doesn't do anything for me."

"You know my history and why I told you when we started that I wouldn't want to do it and you told me you'd be okay with bottoming for the rest of your life as long as it meant you got me. So clearly, you were lying then just to get me into bed."

"Maybe I was. I don't know, but along the way, I just got tired of always pandering to your sexual needs. And Michael loves bottoming. I feel strong and powerful and needed when I'm inside him and you've never once made me feel that way."

Dave just wanted to punch something, break something, and go on a drinking binge. Instead, he walked into his former bedroom, took as many clothes as he could fit into his luggage, grabbed his cat Persephone, and walked out the door.

As he left he turned to look at Jeff and Michael who had come into the living room.

"I will be back tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff. If anything is missing or broke, you can expect an itemized report and a trip to civil court. After all, I'm a lawyer too, in case you forgot."

Dave had nowhere to go. He just wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

He remembered that Santana was coming into town for New Year's Eve and called her. Luckily, she answered on the first ring and told him she had just arrived in New Jersey at a seedy little motel across from Newark Airport.

So, Dave took a taxi, a subway, and three busses to get to her motel. He crashed with her for the night. The next day he went into the city and took his name off the lease. He went back and packed up the rest of his stuff, called for a moving service and by the end of the day, he had cleared out almost everything he had started with or bought over the course of their relationship.

Santana came into the city the following day and by December 30th he had a new apartment and had almost everything moved in with help from a moving company and Santana being a slave driver.

He woke up on New Year's Eve and knew there was no way he was going to Mona's party, knowing that Jeff would be there and it would be awkward, so he looked up various parties is boss needed people at, and found one close to Time's Square, where they could look out over the festivities. It was on the roof of a local building and they could see the concerts and still go inside and be warm.

He invited Santana to be his date. It's when she sprung it on him. Rachel and Finn had decided to come to the city for New Year's Eve and were bringing Sam and Mercedes, Brittany, Artie and Tina, Mike, and Kurt. Rachel's old classmate Brody, was having a huge party at his loft and they were going to hang out. But she promised she'd go if they could all come. Dave sighed and called his boss and within an hour had fifteen passes in hand. He called Mona and invited her and her girlfriend.

Ten minutes later, he saw that Mona had cancelled her party and told them they were still on for the post hangover brunch. Jeff posted how sad he was about missing it, but he had someone to cuddle with at home. Dave wanted to throw his laptop out the window.

Everyone arrived at Dave's new apartment by six p.m. except Rachel, Finn, and Kurt. They were staying at Brody's and Rachel wanted to get a new dress for the party.

At nine p.m. Dave took everyone over to the party in town cars and they were arriving just as Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were arriving. Justin hugged Max and asked him how Persephone was doing. Kurt happened to be standing against the building and looked at him in shock. Dave told Justin she was just fine and thanked him for talking him into rescuing her. They talked about the NBA and about the Nicks scoring average, and then they were inside the party. Justin left him to mingle with the rest of the celebrities and he was alone.

He knew Kurt was behind him, because he smelled his cologne. The same he had on when he was in his bedroom. The same he wore in high school.

He turned around when he heard Kurt clear his throat,

"Yes?"

"Nothing, I was just going to say hi and thank you for inviting us."

"No need to thank me. Santana is the reason you are here tonight. Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was spend my New Year's Eve with people from high school."

"Wow, I'm sorry. I can leave if it would make you feel better."

"No. I'm sorry that was uncalled for, I'm just really not happy today. You should enjoy yourself. The shrimp is always good and the prime rib is the best in the city."

"Thanks."

Dave walked away and went straight to the bar. He downed three drinks called Liquid Cocaine, and then a Long Island iced tea. He was wasted. He went to the roof where a few people were congregating, smoking, and laughing. He sat down on one of the lounge chairs in the corner, drank some vodka from the bottle he had snagged and watched as snow slowly began to fall. The crowd went inside as it started to snow and he was left alone. He could hear parties and music in the distance, and he thought about how fucked up his life was.

The door opened about twenty minutes later and Kurt stepped outside.

Kurt looked radiant under the soft light from the roof. He had on a gray pea coat and a brightly colored scarf.

Dave who was still drinking stumbled over to Kurt.

"What are you doing?"

"Sorry, I just needed some air. Santana kept pressuring me to bump and grind with some guy from your office, and I didn't really want to."

"Oh, Gabe. Yeah, he just came out a few months ago, and I made the mistake of telling Santana he needed to get a boyfriend and she told me she'd get him one when she was here."

"Well, I'd rather get my own boyfriend."

"Would you?"

Dave crowded into Kurt's personal space and fingered his scarf.

"Your new scarf is really ugly."

"Shut up. I sewed it myself. I took the scarf you gave me and sewed it in with some fabric from a dress my mom made when she was pregnant with me."

"You made a scarf out of something I gave you and your dead mom's dress?"

"Yeah."

"That's so weird."

"Shut up. I wanted to remember both things."

"I want to."  
"You want to what?"

"Have drunken New Year's Eve sex with you. Like in your book."

"What about your boyfriend? The saintly, perfect Jeff."  
"Fuck you, asshole."

"What?"

"Jeff cheated on me with his stupid little twink assistant. And then he had the audacity to tell me I wasn't enough for him in the bedroom, because I didn't want to bottom."

'You didn't bottom for your boyfriend? Ever?"

"No, I didn't bottom for my boyfriend, because some asshole ruined that experience for me, and I have no desire to revisit it again."

"Goddamnit, David. Why didn't you try it again?"  
"I don't know. Scared I guess. Scared it wouldn't feel the same, scared that it would lead to more heartbreak."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't top for Adam. You know that, because you read the book. I was afraid of hurting him like I hurt you, and he wanted to bottom. He claimed he was a power bottom and each time it got close to me topping, I panicked."

"See we're perfect for each other, you won't top and I won't bottom."

"Except the reason it's the way, is because of what I did to you. I don't feel right having sex with you."

"You don't feel right? You who blackmailed me into having sex in high school? Really? You're going to turn down sex with me? What if I said you could top me again and leave me just like then? Would that get you hot and bothered, to know that you can still treat me like shit and I'll come back for more?"

"Stop it, David."

By this time Kurt was crying as Dave yelled at him,

"You don't want to have sex with me. I'm sorry that you're hurting, but this is not the way to make yourself feel better."

"I'm pretty sure sex will make me feel better."

Kurt sighed and walked back into the party.

Dave was pissed. Of course he'd get shot down when he was at his most vulnerable. And of course he'd ask Kurt for sex, and Kurt would turn him down flat. He had forgotten how they worked. Kurt got whatever he wanted and Dave didn't.

He drank more. At midnight, everyone went to the roof to watch the ball drop and Dave stood there silently as people kissed and cheered as midnight struck. Then he was being pulled into a kiss. He could taste champagne and chocolate and something he hadn't tasted in years. He was kissing Kurt. He pushed Kurt up against the balcony and deepened the kiss. He continued to kiss him as people started wolf whistling and cheering. He didn't stop until Kurt pushed him away.

They were both flushed and had glassy eyes. Kurt was definitely drunk by that time and Dave hadn't stopped drinking since Kurt had left him the hour before.

Dave arched an eyebrow as he looked Kurt who nodded.

Dave and Kurt walked back into the party. Dave said his goodbyes, then he was in the elevator with Kurt and as soon as the doors closed, they were pressed against the wall making out again.

It was unlike anything he'd experienced before, the urge to kiss someone nonstop and to keep kissing them until they were panting for breath. The urge to drag him down and fuck him through the floor or blow him. It wasn't like that with Jeff or any other guy he'd been with since Kurt.

Then they were in a town car and headed to Dave's loft.

They kissed as they made their way up to his apartment and were still kissing when Dave managed to fling the door open, and still when he kicked the door shut and pushed Kurt into his bedroom.

There was no time to savor this, because Dave was afraid Kurt would sober up and put an end to it. He quickly discarded Kurt's clothing, and made sure to fold the scarf tenderly. That bit of information was still sitting in his mind. The fact that Kurt held that one piece of their past relationship so close was unnerving and unsettling.

He was back then and laying Kurt down on his bed. He wanted to taste every inch of skin, to kiss him until their lips fell off, to stroke him and suck him, and finally be inside him.

And so he did, he teased Kurt and made him shudder and groan and beg for contact.

As he lowered his mouth over his leaking cock, Kurt shuddered. Dave licked and bobbed and sucked. He did everything he had ever had done to him and stuff he had only ever seen on porn. He knew it was working because Kurt had a death grip on his hair and was uttering curses and terms of affection and endearment in the air. He tried to pull Dave off as he warned he was close, but Dave sucked harder. He felt Kurt pulse in his mouth and was rewarded with the hot, salty liquid as it spilled across his tongue and into his throat.

He pulled off with a lewd pop and smiled at Kurt who was lying on the bed with his arms flung out.

He bent down and kissed Kurt then, who kissed him back fervently. Dave still tasted like Kurt and Kurt moaned into his mouth.

Then he was pushing Dave on his back. He rummaged in Dave's nightstand and pulled out the lube and condoms and quickly sheathed Dave. He poured lube in his hands and slowly jacked Dave off until he was coated. Then he took some more and coated his fingers. As he kneeled on the bed he began to finger himself open and Dave groaned at the sight. He quickly sat up pulled Kurt to him and bent him over. Kurt yelped in surprise, until Dave started licking at his hole. He pushed some of the lube inside with his tongue and continued to rim him. Kurt was begging and pleading for fingers and for his cock. He wanted Dave inside him when he came.

Dave reluctantly pulled back and poured lube on his fingers. He worked him open with one, two, and then finally three fingers, and when he found his prostate, he held his finger there for a few seconds as Kurt shuddered.

He finally entered Kurt slowly as he held his hips with a firm grip.

Kurt wiggled as he tried to impale himself on Dave's cock.

Dave just held him tighter and stilled him. He pushed in until he was nestled against him.

Then he pulled back until he was almost out and then slammed back in.

He did this agonizing pace for a few seconds, until Kurt was begging for faster, harder, more.

So he started in earnest. He slammed into him over and over. He lost track of the times he thrust and what was going on. He only wanted to find release, and Kurt felt better than anything he'd ever been in before.

Then Kurt was pushing him on his back and he rearranged himself so he could slide himself down on Dave's cock.

Then he proceeded to ride him and Dave felt his stomach tightening. He changed his mind, this was the best thing he'd ever felt.

He started to thrust up as Kurt slammed down, and on the fourth meeting, Kurt gasped and flung his neck back. Dave had found his prostate and had hit it dead on.

He sat up and grabbed Kurt's neck with one palm. He grabbed his hair and neck as he began slamming harder and harder into that spot.

Kurt was shuddering and moaning as Dave hit it relentlessly. Then Dave's other hand was on Kurt's cock and stroking him. Kurt was falling apart around his cock. He finally bit his lip as he gave a shout and Dave's hand and stomach were coated.

He lasted about thirty seconds longer when Kurt who had come down from his orgasm still bounced on his cock and bit down on his neck.

Dave couldn't help but shudder as he filled the condom. He dropped his head into Kurt's chest.

They sat still joined for what felt like hours. David finally felt himself slip out and Kurt rolled over onto the bed.

Kurt looked absolutely wrecked and Dave realized he really liked that look.

And that scared him. He didn't want to feel that way about anyone, so soon after Jeff, but especially not Kurt.

He got up and took a shower and thought of the best way to get Kurt to leave and forget anything had ever happened.

When he got back out, Kurt was sitting on his bed, smiling like an idiot. Dave didn't return it. He picked up Kurt's clothing and gave them to him.

"I think you need to leave."

"What?"

"Leave. You need to leave."  
"But why? I thought that…"  
"I told you what I wanted, Kurt. I never told you or implied that I wanted to be with you or wanted a relationship. Sex is just sex as you know. Thanks for reminding me of high school."

Kurt looked devastated, but he got up and put his clothes on. He left without a word as Dave pretended to be busy with making coffee."

He didn't turn to look until the door opened and closed.

He went to the door and wanted to open it so bad and pull Kurt back in and apologize for being a dick, but this was not what either of them needed and he didn't want to string Kurt along and give him hope, because he knew one day he'd meet the guy and Kurt deserved to meet his own guy.

They didn't speak again for months, until Oscar emailed him and told him that one of the small publishing houses in New York City wanted to buy Kurt's story and Elena, Dave's boss insisted Dave be Kurt's agent since they were friends.

He didn't know how to approach him again after months apart, and especially how he had ended things with Kurt.

So he emailed him and told him to get to New York City and that they'd get him set up with an editor .

Kurt called him back ten minutes later. He had gotten his number from Finn.

A week later they were back together. Kurt looked happy, which made Dave simultaneously relieved and also upset. Dave was still upset about how they had left things on New Year's Eve, but Kurt seemed fine.

They sat down for a business lunch and Dave led him through the mechanics of getting started. They made a calendar of dates that Kurt needed to be traveling for tour dates, and some national appearances. The New York Times had found about the book and wanted to debut it. Then the lunch was over.

Kurt waved over a good-looking guy, and introduced Dave to Henry, a young man he had met at community college. Kurt had gone home and decided to make a change. He was close to transferring to NYU for fashion design and thanked Dave for helping him make the change. Hank had come along because he wanted to go to NYU and they'd check it out together. Dave could tell Kurt liked him and tried to keep the bitterness from welling up.

Kurt invited Dave to a dinner with them later that night, but he declined.

The last thing he wanted was to hang out with Kurt and Hank on a date and be the awkward third wheel.

He was working on some contracts when he heard his phone go off.

He looked to see a text from Kurt,

Hey, so I'm all alone and wanted to know if you wanted to see a movie or something.

Where's your boyfriend?

What? Hank is straight. He's dating Quinn.

Sorry, you can come over to my loft. I'm sure there's some terrible movie on Lifetime you can cry over.

"You're an ass, but I'll be there in a few minutes."

Dave changed out of his fat pants and put on some jeans.

He made some popcorn, pulled out some beer, and looked through his dvd collection. He's sure he had something Kurt would be okay with watching.

Kurt was there in ten minutes.

Dave let him in and told him to pick out a movie.

Kurt settled on Pirates of the Caribbean and they watched it in silence.

The credits rolled and Kurt got up and stretched.

"Thanks for everything today, David."

"You're welcome, but you should be proud of yourself, it's because of your words that you're here."

"Are you proud of me?"

"What?"

"Are you proud of me?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"The kind that has a yes or no answer."

"IT's also the kind I don't want to answer, because I don't know how to."

"So that's a no, then."

Kurt moved to grab his coat then.

"You know, something? I left my scarf here on New Year's Eve. I figured if you found it, you'd contact me and get it back to me, and if you did, you did care about me, even a little. But you never did, so I tried to move on. I thought that when you emailed me today, it was your way of reaching out, but I've been an idiot. So, I'm going back to Lima and finishing my semester and then I'm going to go to New York University, and hope to meet someone who loves me and wants to be with me."

"I didn't see any scarf."

"That's impossible. I left it on your bed."

"I'm telling you, I never saw any scarf and if I had seen it, I would have gotten it back to you. I'm not an asshole, and I hate you for even implying that."

Kurt went into Dave's bedroom and pulled his drawers open. He looked through everything. He looked through his closet and finally sat on his bed and cried.

"I really loved that stupid scarf."

Dave just stared at him and then went over to the bed and sat down beside him.

He awkwardly patted his back and then put his arm around him.

Kurt turned into him and his head in chest.

Dave knew Kurt wasn't lying and his scarf was somewhere in the room.

He got down on his knees and looked under the bed and there it was lying beside the watch Dave thought he had misplaced when moving.

He pulled it out.

He gave it to Kurt.

Kurt sniffed and then blinked and then smiled brilliantly.

The swelling of pride that ran through Dave's heart was surprising and new.

He wrapped it around Kurt's neck and Kurt leaned in and kissed him.

"Thank you, David."

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry I made a mess of your room."

"It's okay. I know how important that scarf is to you."

Kurt kissed him again.

Dave forgot where he was and that led to more kissing.

An hour later after a round of unbelievable sex, they were both panting.

This time Dave invited Kurt to shower and stay for breakfast.

Kurt went back to Lima the next day and Dave told him to call him when he got back.

Three months later, Kurt was back in New York.

He asked David out a month after that.

They dated for six months.

The following New Year's Eve, after a party at Mona's, where Dave got to show off his hot boyfriend to Jeff who was now with some other twink.

They went back to Dave's and had slow Ringing in the New Year sex.

The next morning Dave gave Kurt his last Christmas gift.

It was the newest Marc Jacobs designer scarf.

Dave told Kurt he hoped this one would be a new start.

Kurt agreed and as they kissed under the falling snow, Dave definitely knew that he had been out of his mind when they had started, but now, he was so happy he had stuck it out.

That night in a New Year together and happy, Kurt turned the television off in the middle of a football game, Dave was actually interested in.

Kurt told him he wanted to have sex.

Dave didn't hesitate to follow.

As Kurt began to prepare himself and Dave, Dave stopped Kurt.

"I want you to fuck me, Kurt."

Kurt gasped and looked at Dave.

"Are you sure, David? I don't want you to top if you're not ready."

"I would have asked if I wasn't, but the question is are you ready?"

Kurt kissed him and pushed him back.

"I have been thinking about this for a while."

Dave moved to roll over, but Kurt pushed him back on the bed.

"No. I don't want to do it that way. I want to see your face, I want to see how you react, I want to know everything and feel everything, and when it's over, I want to do it again."

Dave blushed as Kurt looked at him.

"I made so many mistakes in high school and now that I have the time to do them right, I'm going to."

"You won't get any complaints from me."

Kurt shut him up then with a kiss.

When Kurt finally pressed into Dave, they both sighed.

It felt right, and like home and Dave couldn't help the tears that leaked from his eyes.

Kurt stopped as he watched him with concern,

"Do you need me stop? We can work our way up to this."  
"No, it's not that. I'm just relieved. I thought that I'd never do this again, that I wouldn't want to, but you made me want to try, and now that I have, I feel good and complete like I'm alive again."

Kurt leaned down to kiss him again.

"I feel that way too, David."

David urged Kurt to go in further.

When they were finally joined with Kurt inside Dave for the first time since the last time in high school, it was so much more than any other time. It was better than perfect.

He urged Kurt to move and as Kurt looked into Dave's eyes, he urged him on, told him how good he felt, how perfect he was, and everything he loved about being in him. Dave felt his heart swell with love. This is what he had always wanted with Kurt back then, but now, it was so much more. Back then, it would have been great no doubt, but now, they were in love, they were together, and Dave wanted to be with Kurt forever.

As Kurt reached down to stroke Dave's cock, he kissed him again and then whispered in his ear,

"Come for me baby."

Dave thrust his hips as Kurt slammed in one last time, and as Kurt hit his prostate, he saw stars. He knew he came by the feeling of euphoria and utter relief.

And it was as time and space seemed to reconnect, that he felt Kurt pulsing inside him.

He opened his eyes to see cum everywhere. It had landed on Kurt's hands, stomach, chest, and even some on his cheek and lips.

Dave felt awful. He sat up and licked it off Kurt.

"I'm so sorry."

"Never apologize for cumming so hard you pass out on my cock. That was fucking hot."

Kurt kissed him then and they kissed for a while.

Kurt finally got up and used his old scarf to clean himself off.

"Just another memory I'd like to keep around."

He winked at Dave and threw it in his hamper.

"I know you said that I don't need that scarf anymore and I am so grateful for a new start with you, but I'd like to keep the old one around. It reminds me of everything that has happened until this point, and it reminds me of what I could lose if I fuck up again, and I don't want to, because I love you."

"I love you too."

Kurt got up and pulled on one of David's t-shirts.

He went into the kitchen then.

David followed behind a bit confused and concerned.

Kurt pulled something out of his bag.

He handed it to Dave.

He pulled it out and in it was a quilt.

It had all sorts of colors and patterns. Dave recognized the M from his old letterman jacket, an old t-shirt he had worn in high school, Kurt's Dalton blazer tie, the other half of the old scarf. Kurt explained that he saved so much from their relationship from high school and into them reconnecting and Carole had made it into a quilt. In the middle was a picture of Dave and Kurt kissing at Thanksgiving and their friends and family smiling in the background them.

Kurt asked him if he was happy with Dave, truly happy.

Dave said he was, and had never been happier.

Kurt pushed Persephone off the couch and asked Dave if he would be okay with moving in together.

Dave laughed, and when Kurt got offended he quickly pulled him back into his lap.

"Honey, I thought you were already living here. You sleep here every night. You have half the closet, multiple drawers, and all of your products are here."

Kurt just blushed and smiled,

"So you're saying I live with you?"

"Yeah. Why else would I have given you a key?"

"I thought in case you got locked out or something."  
"Kurt you're my fucking in case of emergency person. Trust me, we live together."

Kurt beamed and kissed his apparently live in boyfriend.

Rings followed the following spring after a fight in which they agreed they were better off apart. That lasted all of eight hours and David and Kurt were crying and apologizing and vowing to never live apart again. David went out and bought two rings, and Kurt went out and bought the exact same two rings. David's inscriptions said, "Sorry for being an ass", and Kurt's read "Sorry for being a stubborn ass." They took each other's.

The following New Year's Eve they were married on the roof of the building from the first New Year's Eve together. That night when the clock struck midnight and the ball fell in the background, David kissed his new husband.

The next morning, Kurt was surprised with a new scarf.

By the time they had their two children, a boy named Paul Burt Hummel-Karofsky (named after their fathers) and a girl named Elizabeth Rachel Hummel-Karofsky (named after Kurt's mother and their surrogate and best friend), Kurt had eight scarves. Each year, the old was retired and added to a quilt.

By the time they retired and had their first grandchild, a little girl named Sarah Lee Hummel-Karofsky, they had a huge scarf made up of Marc Jacob scarfs and when they gave it to their son, they explained how their loved came to be, and what the scarves symbolized.

When Kurt died at the age of 97, instead of flowers, people laid scarfs on his casket. Dave buried him with the extra ring he had purchased all those years ago, so they would be together forever. He cut the sewn scarf in half and the "new" scarf he had given to Kurt all those years ago. Kurt was buried with them.

When Dave passed away six weeks later, he gave his children instructions to bury him with the other half, and the last ring.

They were buried side by side and each New Year's Day, one new Marc Jacob's scarf was laid on the tomb and six months later, on the date of their engagement it became part of a new quilt.

Years later, the story of Dave and Kurt's love and story are written by their great granddaughter. It is later turned into a movie and becomes a hit, and his children, are sure that somewhere in heaven, Dave and Kurt are having a laugh about their story which spanned decades and now centuries, will live on a stupid second season Marc Jacob's scarf, and two young me being out of their fucking minds, when they started.


End file.
